I was working with a client recently who came to yoga therapy with headaches - he said that he was desperate to get rid of them - they made him foggy, they made him unable to focus on what he wanted... I asked him what it was that he wanted...he said he wanted to get rid of the headaches!
After the initial jokey awkwardness in response to my questions, he asked me for some yoga exercises that might help as he'd tried everything else. I often find people come to yoga therapy who have tried everything else - last chance cafe, that's my session space! I explained that I could write down some yoga moves like a prescription for him to take away with him, and if he was willing, we could explore more about the headaches, and see if we could get more clarity on where they came from and what they wanted him to know. He was curious about what I meant and open to go deeper into the cause. I proceeded with some questions about when they started, what the fogginess was about, and the 'getting in the way of what he wanted' he had mentioned when he came in.
So the question came - 'what is it that you want?' More questions, some movement, feeling into the visceral experience of the headache, some ideas about wanting a new house, more success in his business, and then he got to what he really wanted, his deepest desire - and it was simple. He just wanted 'to be accepted'.
I noticed how, in the truth of this insight, his voice changed, his body posture changed and his breathing shifted. By the end of the session, he had a clear picture and felt less foggy. In fact, he told me the headache had gone but, he followed quickly, he was sure they would be back by bed time.
Find out what actually happened next at the end of this blog *
When was the last time you asked yourself what you really want? I mean if you could do anything at all right now, what would that be?
Don't even take time to think about it, let the answer come from the place that already knows but hasn't had a chance to be heard - it's that simple truthful answer before the ifs and buts and shoulds and cants come creeping in and bring you back the 'reasons why you can't have what you want' or some kind of doubt because you don't trust the answer, or its not the answer that you wanted to hear!
Don't apologise for your answer if its not what you think it 'should' be - maybe it doesn't seem exciting enough, adventurous enough, dangerous enough, transformative enough...or the opposite - too dangerous, too much change, hard work! You will know if it doesn't ring true - enough already, just be yourself - you don't have to tell anyone else...do you?
So try this now, ask yourself what it is that you really really want? Whatever words come up, you can exchange the word 'accepted' for your own word.
- What does being accepted mean to you?
- Imagine yourself receiving acceptance - when you are ‘accepted’, what would it look like, sound like, feel like?
- Write down as many words that you can think of related to you being accepted
- What would being accepted give you?
- Can you describe a time when you felt accepted before - how did you feel? what had you done? Can you embody the feeling of it right now?
- Write stuff down
- What is holding you back?
- What do you need to do next?
- Write down as many words as you can that describe you, your desires, your skills, resources, personality - think yourself BIG! If you find this hard, imagine your best friend describing you, or ask a friend to help you with this.
Here are some things I’d like you to know:
- You are more amazing than you know
- You deserve to have whatever it is that you want in your life
- You can manifest anything you wish - if it comes from the place that already knows
Sometimes its difficult to see the wood for the trees, or maybe you cannot see a way through, or have beliefs about yourself and your situation that could never change - An experienced guide can help you find these answers yourself.
*Oh and to follow up, when he arrived at the next session, he had something else on his mind. I asked him about the headaches, and he sounded surprised 'oh those, I'd forgotten about those...now about this thing that happened last week.'..and on he went excitedly...
Call me if you are curious about something happening in your body, your mind, your life that you'd like to explore and live the life you deserve WORK WITH ME
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