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YOU ARE NOT HERE ON THIS PLANET TO SUFFER
We all experience events that create intense psychological stress. The body braces and protects itself, a physical reflex to the mental impact of a sudden shock or accident – arms and hands shield the face and head, jaw clenches, shoulders jump up, the breath becomes shallow or stuck completely, we may become frozen in fear.
Once the threat has passed, the body is designed to release tension, relax back to an easy belly breathe, return to feeling safe and engaged in social connection. Patience may be required at this time – it takes time to find our way back to balance – homeostasis, equilibrium, equanimity. But often, that release doesn’t happen. The perceived threat gets stuck in a constant hyper-aroused state of fear, or even more stress accumulates. We withdraw and disconnect further. Isolation deepens. Grief and loss grows overwhelmingly heavy. We feel cut off, down-hearted, heartbroken, broken. Shattered.
In the following practices, there is an invitation to bring awareness to the protective tension in the body. In response, we will explore key ways to reconnect – with the diaphragm, the lungs and the heart. We do not need big or advanced yoga poses to defrost when we are stuck. In fact, micro movements further in towards the tension, and embodying opposite feelings can provide the information we need.
Remember: take only what feels comfortable, and move at your own pace in your own space.
Give yourself as much comfort as you can, tend to your heart with sensitivity and kind understanding. It’s been through a lot.
if you have a few minutes, you can simply pick any one of the following steps that you like the best.
Step 1: Grounding into Awareness (2 minutes)
- Sit or lie comfortably.
- Close your eyes if it feels safe, or stay with eyes open and soften the muscles around the eyes as much as you can
- Bring your awareness to your breath and notice how the breath responds – the quality, the movement and resistance
- Take in each breath as slowly and fully as you can through the nostrils without strain
- Take releasing sighing or blowing out exhales through the mouth
- Observe without judgment as each breath can differ in length and quality
- Now scan your body for held areas: brow, eyes, mouth, jaw, shoulders, hands, rib cage and diaphragm. Belly, hips, pelvic floor, legs, feet and toes. Where are you holding the most tension?
- Take a few moments to feel into the tension. Give yourself permission just to feel what is present without needing to let it go or change it in any way
- Simply pinpointing any area of tension can soften the muscles without any forcing or trying
- Stay with it for a few minutes and then let go of controlling the breath in any way and see what else you let go in the process
Step 2: Amplifying the Protective Posture (2–3 minutes)
- Bring your hands in a protective bracing position over your face or head
- Show yourself “shielding” or “protection” as an embodied state.
- Exaggerate and amplify the tension a little more if you can.
- Let yourself know its OK to express this state of being for this experiment
- Furrow your brow, clench your jaw, make fists with your hands, screw up your face and hold your breath
- Continue tensing up even more without straining
- Hold for a few moments to find vocabulary for this feeling, more information about this state of protection
- When you start to release the embodied state of protection, relax the facial muscles one by one, feeling the slow release throughout the whole of the body
- Repeat fast or slow tensing and releasing
- Now, inhale deeply into the chest and lungs, slowly opening into the front, sides and back of your ribcage as much as you can.
- Pause at the top of your innale and feel into your heart being held and supported by your lungs and your arms
- Take your arms out and up into a V shape. Open your fingers from fists and reach out as much as you feel able
- Take a long sigh or sound out on the exhale and release the body to neutral, hands over heart.
- Repeat fast or slow. Find your own way if your body wants to show you another way to release the protective posture
- Let yourself know that it is ok to do as little or as much as you like, no pressure to open wide.
- Finally, let the breath be. Let your hands cradle your heart to support yourself with tenderness
Step 3: Expanding and Opening (3–4 minutes)
- Gradually open your arms out a little wider if you can, reaching up and out with your arms and if you are standing, a wider stance with your legs
- Inhale and exhale into the lungs as smoothly as you can, noticing any catching and resistance, coughing and restriction
- If and when you are ready to lie down, curl up on your side or spread yourself out on your back to take up space
- breathe lower into the belly and imagine the diaphragm as a trampoline—moving down on the inhale and springing up on the exhale, rising and falling like a wide thick elastic trampoline or flexible dome with the heart bouncing on top, the abdominal organs responding below.
- Allow the breaths to be gentle and light – feel the breath rise and fall with the belly
- No need to move your body but imagine yourself playing on the trampoline with your body – smiling, bouncing, tumbling, leaping, perhaps small to start off with
- Continue to play in your imagination or stand up and bounce and jump a little, shake off any stress whatever feels playful.
- Come back to safety any time you feel its too much
- A little is brave enough to let your body remember the possibility of play
- Imagine it if you cannot find it now – think of a time when you were playful.
- Whenever a wave of overwhelm takes you, come back to protection pose or discontinue the practice
- Complete by standing up and doing something that feels familiar and ordinary. Put the kettle on, pull up some weeds in your garden, check in with a family member, pet, or friend – even an imaginary one.
Step 4: Finding Joy (2–3 minutes)
- Wherever you are and whatever you are doing, stop for 2 minutes
- Notice your position and where you are holding tension in your body – freeze for a moment or two here
- Bring to mind a small moment of joy, a tiny fragment of an image, song or music, smell or feeling – no matter how small
- Breathe it in – from a thought, grow it into an embodied feeling using your senses to make it as vivid as possible – the real thing if it is available
- As you breathe out, drop deeper into it, bathe in it
- Feel it in your body. Let it expand like ink spreading in water.
- Whisper its name to yourself: eg. “This is pure joy”. “This is safe”. “I am OK”. “I love this song”, “I am getting through this.” Find affirmations of your own.
- Whenever a wave of overwhelm takes you, find this moment of joy through the words, the senses and the embodied feeling
Even a tiny drop of joy can spread through your whole body. Allow yourself to notice and savour this moment of hope
Step 5: Heart Check-In (2-3 minutes)
- Place your hands gently over your heart, one on top of the other
- Tap gently, rub softly in a self-soothing tender way, rubbing it better as you would with someone who is hurt
- Breathe slowly into your chest, returning your attention to the heart space again and again so you can listen and reassure
- Find an affirmation in the present eg. “I am here, heart”. “It will not always be like this”, “I am holding grief and joy together”, “I am being held in the arms of Mother Earth, she is living, breathing and hurting with me” Find affirmations of your own.
Keep checking in regularly with your heart every hour or so. Continue whispering to yourself – “My heart can hold it all. My body knows how to heal”. Find affirmations of your own.
Integration from mat to life (2-10 minutes)
- Rest in stillness or restorative pose if you have space and time to lie down
- Nothing to do here for yourself or others, rest here as if sunbathing inside your own light
- Before you move back into life, slowly open eyes and feel how you are with eyes open
- Take a few grounding exhales, stretch as if you have been asleep for a hundred years, fully replenished and renewed
- It takes courage and repetition. Be kind to yourself!
REMEMBER, YOU ARE NOT HERE ON THIS PLANET TO SUFFER
Do let me know how it goes, if you have questions or need support – yoga therapist, Judy Hirsh Sampath – you do not have to do this alone. To find out about the next mental health CPDs and “Yoga Therapy for Grief and Loss Group”, contact [email protected]
Love Judyx
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